Is it OK to nurse in front of my other children?
Yes. What better way is there of teaching them the value and normalcy
of breastfeeding than to be an example to them. The bottle is
considered so normal in this culture that children's stories depict
animals using bottles. Baby dolls and stuffed toys come with bottles.
Children can grow up believing babies are supposed to be bottle
fed. Breastfed toddlers have been known to "nurse" their dolls,
imitating the mothering skills they have seen. Sometimes a child
may ask her mother to nurse a doll or teddy bear because the child
realizes he "doesn't have any milk." Have the mother play along
with the game. Children love to play act.
What should I do if one of my older children asks to nurse?
First, don't panic. This is a normal question. The mother should
try to discover the reason for the question. Most children are
merely curious about the taste of breastmilk, especially if they
are told that they were nursed, or they may want to know why the
baby likes it so much. The mother can express her breastmilk into
a cup, less than an ounce will do, and let the child taste it.
What if my husband feels like he has nothing to do for the baby?
In the early weeks, dad's job is to "mother the mother." He can
be in charge of making sure she rests, gets enough to eat, help
with the household chores, protect her from too many visitors,
people with negative attitudes about breastfeeding and help her
assume her new role as a mother. Taking care of a baby involves
more than feeding! Dad can take the baby for a walk, bathe him,
play or cuddle with him. . . the options are endless.
Will breastfeeding interfere with my sex drive?
A new baby is a full-time job. The mother may simply need to go
to bed to sleep, and nothing more. This would happen no matter
how she chose to feed the baby. Some women report an increase
in sex drive while nursing. Others report that they don't have
as much of a drive as they used to. Both extremes or a combination
of these is quite normal. It is important for couples to remember
to make time for intimacy.
What about birth control?
Breastfeeding may help with natural family spacing. As long as
a baby is 100 % breastfed, women do not usually ovulate and menstrual
periods may not return for several months. Many experts believe
that if a span of more than four or six hours passes between nursings,
mother can ovulate. The rhythm method that relies on physical
cues to ovulation and temperature charts, may not be effective
while breastfeeding. If a mother does not want to be pregnant
again, she should use a suitable form of birth control. Medical
experts agree that another pregnancy should not occur before one
year from the last full term pregnancy.
"The Pill" is not recommended for nursing mothers. "The Pill"
can decrease both the quality and quantity of breastmilk. There
also remains the unanswered question of risks in exposing the
baby to the hormones in "The Pill" that will pass through the
milk. When the baby is taking solids (at four to six months of
age), the mini pill or tricyclic pills may be used. There are
many suitable forms of birth control for the nursing mother. The
diaphragm, condom, foam, sponge and other barrier methods are
highly recommended. When used correctly, in combination with breastfeeding,
they are very effective.
What if my breasts leak during sex?
If the breasts leak during intercourse, the mother should nurse
the baby before intercourse, and pad the bed with towels. The
same hormone that causes the let-down reflex, oxytocin, is released
with orgasm. In the early weeks, the breasts often respond to
the mother's orgasm with a let-down. This is not harmful and is
quite normal.
Can my partner fondle or kiss my breasts?
Yes. Some women find that their breasts are more (or less) sensitive
to touch while they are nursing. If they are too sensitive, she
should tell her partner. Some men may falsely believe that they
will harm the milk if they touch or kiss the breasts. Some men
are fascinated by the whole process of lactation. If her partner
has an active cold sore, however, he should not kiss the breasts.
The virus that causes cold sores (herpes) could be transmitted
to the baby.
Is it normal to have trouble with vaginal dryness?
Sometimes the hormones involved with breastfeeding can cause vaginal
dryness which makes intercourse uncomfortable. Recommend using
a water soluble lubricant especially made for this purpose, like
Astroglide or K-Y Jelly.
Will I lose my figure if I breastfeed?
Quite the contrary, she'll get it back faster. The body has been
storing fat (especially in the tummy, hip and thigh areas) for
nine months in preparation for breastfeeding. Nursing helps metabolize
the majority of this stored fat quickly. If she is gaining weight
while breastfeeding, she is not eating properly. (See section
on diet issues).
Do women ever get sexual sensations while they are nursing?
Because the hormones involved in lactation are the same as those
involved in orgasm, it is believed that a woman could have an
orgasm while breastfeeding. Karen Pryor feels that because oxytocin
causes the uterus to contract that some women may misinterpret
the cramping sensations as orgasmic contractions. I have asked
hundreds of women if they have ever had an orgasm during nursing.
Their answer, always an emphatic "No!" The most common description
of sensation are those of the "warm after glow" sensation that
many women experience following orgasm. Women appear to have the
innate ability to separate the breast's maternal function from
sexuality while they are nursing. Prolactin, the mothering hormone,
gives the mother a calm, warm peaceful feeling after nursing.
Also the release of oxytocin with the let-down, is responsible
for the "after-glow." These sensations are quite normal.
Questions after the first 4 weeks
Storage of EMM (Expressed Mother's Milk)
Copyright Marie Davis RN, IBCLC 1999
Last reviewed: